When I was a kid, I knew that something was wrong with my family. We never seemed to get along, and it was always a struggle to get through the simplest tasks as a family. I felt like it was always a challenge to be at home, which is why I focused so much on creating a loving, kind environment when I had my own family. I worked hard to find a great spouse, and we focus every day on creating a loving home. Check out this blog for tips on creating and enjoying stronger family relationships each and every day.
If you are about to attend a funeral, and you haven't been to one in a long time, do not worry. Etiquette for funerals is fairly simple; in general, hang back, observe others, and keep what you say brief. There are a few issues you'll have to deal with, but they are straightforward.
Don't Open a Closed Casket
This really should go without saying, but sometimes people can be boorish enough to try this. Hopefully not you -- but if you see someone else try it, you'll know to stop them. Not all services have an open casket. If you see that the casket is closed, leave it that way. There are religious and personal bases for doing so.
Don't Post Details on Social Media
If you are going to a funeral, don't post the time, date, and location on social media. First of all, you can message others who need to know it; your random friends or followers won't need to know. Second, posting the details on an open platform or one where outsiders can see shared or liked posts from others is a security risk. If the wrong person sees it, then the home of the family becomes a target for thieves during the time that they're away at the funeral.
Do Introduce Yourself to the Family if You Knew the Deceased but Not Them
It can be nerve-racking to go up to a bunch of people you don't know, but if you were a friend of the deceased's and didn't know the rest of the family, do go up to them and introduce yourself. They'll appreciate knowing how many people cared for the deceased. You don't have to make a speech when you meet them; a simple introduction of who you are and how you knew the deceased, plus offering condolences, will do.
Do Follow Family Requests
If you see requests to not send flowers, to wear colors other than black to the funeral, and so on, and you know these requests are from the family (they'll often be in the obituary), so please follow them. It can be very annoying to have someone send lots of flowers when those were specifically not requested.
Do Send Flowers (if Sending Them) to the Funeral Home is Possible
If there are no family requests about not sending flowers, and you'd like to send some, try to send them to the funeral home if at all possible. You could send them to the family's church (or synagogue, mosque, or other religious structure) if you want, but try not to send them to the family's home. Technically that's OK -- it's fine etiquette-wise to send flowers to the family's home. But keep in mind that there's only so much room in the home, and the family is going to be dealing with moving the deceased's stuff around and possibly having plenty of people stay over. It would be better to send the flowers to the funeral home so that the family has more room at home.
Of course, it helps everyone when a funeral is planned in advance by the person in question. If you have not preplanned your funeral, you may want to do so. Contact a funeral home, like Conboy-Westchester Funeral Home Inc, for help as the staff there will be able to guide you through all of the steps and questions about etiquette.
Share2 March 2017
